I deserve this

Well today is Heather's first track meet of the year. She is in her senior at Kentucky so this is it. She has worked hard and is going to achieve her goal of being an All-American this year in the weight throw this year. I am soo excited to be able to go to her meet tonight because with my season starting soon I will be very busy. Everything sounds good right? Well, it isn't peachy because track meets mean that Heather's family know where she will be and they will come. I am not really going to air Heathers business on my blog but the bottom line is they are the most unsupported family I have ever seen. The thing that gets me is they don't support Heather for being gay but yet try to interrupt her life. I know what you guys are thinking why does this matter to me? Well, last night her brother was extremely rude. Heather got texts from him saying that he was coming to the track meet tomorrow and when Heather answered that she didn't want him there he responded with enjoy your fat girlfriend, who is physco and when track is done i hope you enjoy being a "gay" couple, because that is all you will be and have. He said much much worse that I can't even put in this blog because too many children read this.  The thing that gets me, is not the fat comment, because honestly who cares, but it the fact that he said "all you will ever be is that gay couple." What does that mean? Your damn right will be that gay couple and we will enjoy it. I love Heather more than anything in this world. She is the other half to my whole. She makes the happiest woman alive. She supports me, she makes me laugh, she is caring, loving, and she works hard at everything she does. How can someone say that is wrong? Because she is a woman and I am a woman? How could her own blood say that? It was hard for me last night because when I hear those words come out of her brothers mouth I want to curl up in  ball and cry and say I don't deserve it because I have never done anything to those people. They hate me because I am woman. They hate me because I am fat. They hate me because they think my parents are crazy. They hate me because my name is Jordan. They hate me for everything I am. And because they hate me, they hate Heather. I am the reason Heather can't have a family. Because she loves a woman.  In the past, I have curled up in a ball, and cried and said I can't handle the drama. Not last night, I held it together and I listened while Heather cried. I was the rock last night, like I should be. It isn't about me and that was a tough lesson to learn. Her family says she is confused and they feel like if they come to track meets and they see her family she will somehow be "UNGAY." Does that really happen?
 Yesterday Oprah had a guest on her show that talked about one of keys of weight loss was knowing your barriers or things that hold you back. I can say a barrier of mine for three years has been her family.  I used not feel good enough. Like, I there must be something wrong with me for them to think such hateful things about me. Every time I felt good about myself, I felt guilty because the drama of them was always in front of me. If I lost some weight, I would always be Heather's fat girlfriend, so why try. I was always seeking for approval from them. I wanted them to like me so bad because I loved their daughter. They never would. No amount of weight I lost, or challenged I achieved was good enough. I struggled between being there for my girlfriend and trying to keep myself protected from the hate. All the while eating and throwing my worth away. Not anymore. I am a great person that can offer this world a great thing. I deserve this, and even though her family tries to hold me back and hurt me, you cant hurt me. It isn't about Jordan. You hate that I am woman. DAMN RIGHT I AM!!!! ....a very strong woman....who won't let you win anymore!
   ...I deserve this...I deserve to feel good about myself....
It is very hard for me type that. I do deserve this and typing it out makes me cry. They can't hurt me anymore.