I am struggling....I have zero motivation to work out...and honestly just wanna lay around. I am being mean to poor Heather and I don't even know. I am beyond stressed out and all I want to do is eat bad food! But, I havn't. I am exhausted and I need to snap out of it. I would give anything for a good laugh! I need to get some hw done and I know that I will feel better. I am soo pissed that I have only lost two lbs in the last two weeks and it is making me not want to eat healthy and do this. Then, I read wieght watcher success stories and I know that I am doing the right thing. It says on wieght watchers you are only supposed to lose 1 to 2 lbs a week. I guess that is what I am doing. I just wanna it to be faster. I need patience! I need to relax and I don't know what to do to relax. It is wierd to be when you take away binge eating from my life how I have ZERO coping skills. I know excersing will make me feel better but I honestly don't want to do it.
It is just a bad day...I can't stop crying...I can't stop doubting myself. I mean can I really do this? I just don't see myself doing this. I have failed so many times before. I am failure. I don't know how people do this! I am really pissed at myself and I don't know how to get over it. I am pissed at eevryone around me. I feel like no one understands how hard this is and no one can understand how I feel. I feel so lonely, not only in this whole diet thing, but work too. My pitchers didnt have a good weekend and I couldn't help but think about how I am a bad coach and I don't know what I am doing, that attitude is leaking into my diet. I fucking suck at this. I suck at everything.....
...I need to find my happy...
It sounds like food use to make you happy and when you took away food, you didn't have anything to replace it with. How about a hobby or project? Something to keep your mind off food.
ReplyDeleteAnd WHEN you do get skinny, it will still be a struggle and you'll still have bad days so getting skinny isn't going to fix your problems. It will, however, add years to your life and that's the only thing that matters. You're on a weight loss journey to save your life, right?
Chin up!